Lanes Sunday, December 8 1889

They are all scented with the same ash of slow-whittled accomplishment, except one anomalous subpopulation forgotten too easily.
In parlance with all that might be bleated about the intemperance of this age, exception ought to be made rowly for the children. For the gentle readers of Norativ and Ertjan, let it be known firstly that children are expanding chinese turtles that, taken as pets from the wild, are birthed as one passes a stone--vaginally, imprisoned until domesticated thoroughly and summarily declared an adult, with sneering skepticism until better known as too old.

Every ordinary pugilist of this era knows that while fisticuffs becomes any whose face is made of buttery tissue, the right does not extend to children. The programmatic schedules of economism and the poorhouse rule of self-sufficience, being parallel moralities against excess, mean nothing to the child, and are therefore directed at such patients unremittingly, without a hat of obedience. Even the zesty disciplinarianism of the queue and cycle of general misfortune exclude, on principle as well as miscreant fact, the reduced bodies and self-satisfied minds of the jeering young.

-CB Lanes