Homes Friday October 7 1994

The sacrosanctest of precious days must certainly be the fellow's birth-day. This occasion upon which the fellow's right of celebration is determined only by his particular happenstance of having been borne fresh of his mother's uterine enclosure on this calendar date, not that preceding it, nor the one immediately following. His charming confidants and colleagues emerge from their pigeonholes, swarming upon the oversweet confection which breaks up their mediocre working-time. The fellow receives from them various cuneiform scribbles in an uncouth arrangement. They sing-song their encomium, supplanting the last gentleman's moniker for whom they had occasion to celebrate with his. A moment of singularness! Of distinctive qualification! How original the festivities amidst the insipid regularness of laborious pursuits!
-H.E. Homes